The Danger of Comparison: Why "He Must Increase, But I Must Decrease" Changes Everything

Have you ever found yourself scrolling through social media, comparing your life to the highlight reels of others? Or maybe you've looked at another person's success and wondered why their ministry, career, or family seems to be thriving while yours feels stagnant? "One of the things that I'm experiencing right now is I'm getting older. I feel older." And with age comes perspective – sometimes painful perspective about where we stand compared to others. But what if I told you that comparison might be robbing you of the very joy and purpose God intended for your life? What if the secret to accurate self-worth isn't found in measuring yourself against others, but in understanding three crucial aspects of Jesus Christ's worth?

The Problem with Inaccurate Diagnosis

Let me paint a picture for you. "Imagine that you have a pain somewhere in your body... and over weeks and weeks, just slightly, ever more, evermore, it gets more and more intense, more and more difficult." So you go to a doctor who runs all the tests – "CAT scan and the MRI and the hearing test" – and he sees something. "And it's not good. He knows it's bad." But then imagine this doctor thinks, "this guy's got a lot of negative things going on in his life. He needs a good report, not a bad report." So instead of telling you the truth, he says, "your body is good. You got a good body... Most of your body's doing great. It would be really negative for me to talk about the part that's not maybe doing as great." "Now is this a good scenario for you? No. Because an inaccurate diagnosis is a bad diagnosis." You see, "what would be worse than being told you have a disease is for somebody to know that you have a disease and not tell you. That would be rough." This is exactly what happens when we try to solve our self-worth problems with the popular remedy of "high self-esteem." "There have been those in the past though that have pushed for the need for people to have a high self esteem. You know what the problem with this kid is? He's got a low self esteem... He needs to have a high self esteem. You know what the problem is? He's a bad kid."

The Biblical Perspective on Self-Worth

"The issue though that some would say is that people nowadays have a low self esteem. The answer is a high self esteem. Yet this is not good. One of the most difficult things to get right about ourselves is thinking about ourselves." Here's the truth: "If we think about ourselves too much, that's pride. That can lead to selfishness, that can lead to self centeredness. If we think pessimistically about ourselves, I'm the worst. I have no worth. This is not entirely accurate either." "What's important is having an accurate esteem of yourself. Thinking about ourselves rightly, we can only think about ourselves rightly... when we have God's perspective on us. When we think like God." This brings us to John chapter 3, verses 22-36, where we find John the Baptist facing his own comparison crisis. His disciples come to him saying, "Rabbi, he that was with thee beyond Jordan, to whom thou bearest witness... behold the same baptizeth and all men come to him" (John 3:26). In other words, "I'm noticing our disciples, and our crowd's getting smaller, and his crowd and his disciples are getting bigger. You used to be the talk of the town, and now he's the talk of the town."

John's Profound Response: Three Aspects of Christ's Worth

John's response is absolutely profound and gives us a masterclass in how to think about ourselves accurately. "We can have an accurate view of our own self worth by valuing three aspects of the worth of Jesus Christ."

1. His Value: He Is Greater Than Me

"John answered and said, A man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven" (John 3:27). John understood that "Jesus, success is happening because God is allowing it to happen. What's happening with Jesus is of God. This is all part of God's plan." Then John uses this incredible wedding illustration: "He that hath the bride is the bridegroom. But the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice. This my joy therefore is fulfilled" (John 3:29). "He's saying, now, I want you guys to imagine this... I've been in a bunch of different weddings... And you know what the job of a groomsman's to do? Basically, to be like... to be there to stand by your groom and to be happy for him... The point of the groomsmen in some ways is to point to the groom." "When someone's in the bridal party or attending the wedding. Jealousy and envy are not the right attitude. The right attitude is for the inevitable culmination of the marriage. Joy at that. And John is saying that Jesus prominence is the point of his own ministry." This leads to the most well-known verse in the passage: "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30).

2. His Experience: He Is From Above

"He that cometh from above is above all. He that is of earth is earthly, and speaketh of the earth: he that cometh from heaven is above all" (John 3:31). "Part of the way that we know Christ's value is greater than ours is because of where he comes from... Mankind is of earth. Jesus is from heaven. God is from heaven. He's the creator, and he's more valuable than his creation." As Genesis 2:7 tells us, "the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life." We're made from earth, but Jesus? "There was a time when we are not. But there will never be a time where we will never be again. But there has never been a time where Jesus was not." "And what he hath seen and heard, that he testifieth; and no man receiveth his testimony" (John 3:32). "Jesus experience is in heaven. He's seen heaven, he's bringing heaven."

3. His Position: He Is Supreme

"The Father loveth the Son, and hath given all things into his hand" (John 3:35). "While Jesus has been rejected by so many and received by so few, God the Father has completely accepted His Son." John makes it clear that "Jesus has been given all things. The whole of creation is Jesus... Everything is by him and for him and to him." "So when confronted with the success of Jesus ministry, John makes it clear that he understands Jesus supremacy over everything. What he's saying is, this is amazing. Yeah, he gets more, I get less. You know why? Everything is his to begin with. It's all His."

The Danger of Comparison Culture

"Sometimes we compare our lives to the postings of other people on social media. We compare our wealth and our cars and our clothes to others... And in the end there is no win in comparison. Let me say that again in the end, there's no win in comparison. Cause you can always find somebody doing something better than you. And you can always find somebody doing something worse than you. And that's not how God measures it anyway." "Success should be measured in faithfulness to the Lord and not in comparison to other people."

The Ultimate Reality: Eternal Consequences

This passage ends with perhaps the most important truth in all of Scripture: "He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him" (John 3:36). "What you do with Jesus is the most important decision you could make. Isn't who you marry important? Yeah. Not as important as this. What about what I do for a job? Is that important? It's important. Is it more important than what you do with Jesus? Not a chance." "If you have the son, you have life. If you don't have the son, you don't have life. You don't have the son. The wrath of God abides." But here's the incredible news: "You know what Jesus did about the wrath of God? The Bible says he became sin who knew no sin that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." On the cross, "God poured out his wrath on Jesus so that then he can legally do something. He can take Jesus righteousness. And for those of us who have put our faith and trust in Jesus, he can take Jesus righteousness and put it on our account."

Putting It Into Practice

So how do we live this out practically? Remember Your Role: "Those of us who know Christ as Savior have one job while we're on this earth. That's priority over every other job that we have... We're called by God as Christ's disciples to point in every way we can to Jesus." Reject Comparison: Stop measuring your success against others. "It's required in stewards that a man be found faithful." Your job is faithfulness to God, not keeping up with others. Embrace Decrease: Sometimes "being faithful to God means that there will be a decrease in impact." That's okay. "It's not about me. It's not about us. It's all about Him." Point Others to Jesus: Like John the Baptist, our mission is clear. "We lift up, not ourselves. We lift up who? Jesus. We point people to Jesus. He's the main player." The next time you're tempted to compare yourself to others, remember John the Baptist's words: "He must increase, but I must decrease." Your worth isn't found in being better than someone else – it's found in accurately understanding who Jesus is and joyfully pointing others to Him. "He that hath the Son hath everlasting life." Do you have the Son?