Spirit Filled Husbands
Session 16- Spirit Filled Husbands
Scripture: Ephesians
Subject: Husbands
Central Theme: Spirit-Filled Husbands.
Objective Statement: Spirit Filled Husbands submit to their wives by embracing these five responsibilities.
Keyword: Responsibilities
Responsibility #1- Leading their wives. (v.23-24)
Responsibility #2- Loving their wives. (v.25, 28-30)
Responsibility #3- Sanctifying their wives. (v.26-27)
Responsibility #4- Clinging to their wives. (v.31)
Responsibility #5- Showing Christ and the Assembly (V.32-33)
Introduction:
Connection:
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny, what’s the matter?”
Johnny said, “I don’t feel well, I think I’m having a wife.”
- We are in a series called “in Christ relationships”, the third series as we have walked through the book of Ephesians.
- And today we are going to talk to the men about what it means to “have a wife”, but it won’t be as painful as what that illustration made it sound like.
Tension:
- Let’s talk about how we have gotten to this point.
- We started our study in Ephesians 16 sermons ago with a sermon called “We are rich.”
- The reason we called it that because found out that you can summarize the whole book of Ephesians with two words- “in Christ”.
- Those who are in Christ have been blessed by the Father, blessed by the Son, and blessed by the Spirit.
- In Christ we are chosen to be:
- Holy.
- Without blame.
- Adopted.
- Accepted.
- Redeemed.
- Forgiven.
- Destined.
- Sealed.
- Heirs
- We walked through the first three chapters that helped us understand these realities of who we are.
- We then went into our second series, “Becoming Who We are” when we got to 4:1.
Ephesians 4:1
(1) I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,
- You are “in Christ” now act like it.
- Part of what it means to be in Christ is to have the Holy Spirit living inside of you.
Ephesians 5:18
(18) And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
- As a believer you can fight against the Spirit or you can be filled with the Spirit. You can be controlled by the Spirit.
- Spirit filled people are worshipful, thankful, and submissive.
- “in Christ” is positional.
- “filled with the spirit” is a result of submission. It’s a result of letting the spirit control you.
- We dealt with spirit-controlled wives 2 weeks ago.
- Reality #1- Spirit controlled wives submit to their husbands.
- Reality #2- Spirit controlled wives understand their role.
- Reality #3- Spirit controlled wives know their value.
- Today we are going to deal with spirit-filled husbands.
- Spirit filled husbands have wives, and because they have wives, they embrace certain responsibilities in that role.
- Being Spirit filled means you submit to the other person. There is a mutual submission.
- This idea of submission is not just for the wives. It’s for the husbands.
- Husbands and wives do not have different values. They have different roles.
- So what does a spirit-filled husband do?
Spirit Filled Husbands submit to their wives by embracing these five responsibilities.
Responsibility #1– Leading their wives. (v.23-24)
Ephesians 5:23-24
(23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
(24) Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
- We start to learn something about Spirit filled husbands when God is speaking to Spirit filled wives.
- He begins a comparison in verse 23 that runs throughout this passage and gives us a beautiful picture of marriage and the roles within marriage.
- The picture that is given is the picture of Christ’s relationship to the assembly.
- Submission by the church to Christ means Christ is the leader.
- Look at the language:
- “even as Christ is the head of the church”
- This means that he is the leader.
- He certainly was the initiator of the relationship.
- He created us.
- He pursued us.
- He saved us.
- Notice the verbiage. It says “as the church is subject unto Christ”.
- Do we let Christ lead?
- Does Christ exercise his Lordship in our assembly? He does by the preaching and teaching of the Word of God and our obedience to it.
- Our culture has a problem with this idea of marriage, and the roles in marriage.
- When someone in our culture says that the husband ought to be the leader of his home there is some hesitation at that. You’ve heard the questions, or could at least imagine them.
- Do men just have a slave at home to do all the things they don’t want to do?
- Doesn’t that just mean that men can rule over women and oppress them?
- Are you saying that men are better than women?
- But I believe that this example of Christ and the church is clears all of that up.
- If you have the same commands without that example, the application of it lived out could be oppressive.
- But that’s because most people’s definition of leadership is off. Jesus himself addressed it.
Mark 10:35-45
(35) And James and John, the sons of Zebedee, come unto him, saying, Master, we would that thou shouldest do for us whatsoever we shall desire.
(36) And he said unto them, What would ye that I should do for you?
(37) They said unto him, Grant unto us that we may sit, one on thy right hand, and the other on thy left hand, in thy glory.
(38) But Jesus said unto them, Ye know not what ye ask: can ye drink of the cup that I drink of? and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?
(39) And they said unto him, We can. And Jesus said unto them, Ye shall indeed drink of the cup that I drink of; and with the baptism that I am baptized withal shall ye be baptized:
(40) But to sit on my right hand and on my left hand is not mine to give; but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared.
(41) And when the ten heard it, they began to be much displeased with James and John.
(42) But Jesus called them to him, and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them.
- In human leadership thought process, the higher you go up the ladder the more you are served.
- In God’s way of thinking, the better servant you are, the more service is given to you.
- That’s what he says in verses 43-45.
(43) But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister:
(44) And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.
(45) For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.
- In God’s economy, leadership is service.
- If you take on any leadership position as a way to be served you’re doing it wrong.
- The best leaders come early and stay late.
- The best leaders find ways to serve the people they lead.
- Isn’t that the example of Jesus in His discipleship and His earthly ministry?
John 13:1-17
(1) Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.
(2) And supper being ended, the devil having now put into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him;
(3) Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God;
(4) He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself.
(5) After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.
(6) Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet?
(7) Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.
(8) Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.
(9) Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head.
(10) Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all.
(11) For he knew who should betray him; therefore said he, Ye are not all clean.
(12) So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you?
(13) Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.
(14) If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet.
(15) For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.
(16) Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.
(17) If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.
- If you got into marriage exclusively to be served you are probably not having a good time right now.
- Or your spouse is miserable.
- The church does serve Christ, but does not Christ serve the church.
- You know how I know that true leadership is service?
- So few people do it. So few husbands actually lead their families.
- Yet husbands, what does it say we need to provide leadership in within our homes?
- “in everything”
(24) Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
- What part of the home and family should the husband lead in? “In everything”.
- Spirit filled husbands lead their wives.
- What does that look like? Service. What was the ultimate way that Christ served us?
Spirit Filled Husbands submit to their wives by embracing these five responsibilities.
- Responsibility #1– Leading their wives. (v.23-24)
Responsibility #2– Loving their wives. (v.25, 28-30)
Ephesians 5:25
(25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
- Here we see the ultimate in leadership and service.
- Here we see love. But not the hallmark “running down the terminal I’m so infatuated with you” kind of love.
- We see love that leads, initiates, and pursues. We see sacrifice.
- We see love that lays down its life for others.
John 15:13
(13) Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 13:34-35
(34) A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
(35) By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
- The distinguishing mark of the disciple of Jesus Christ is the love they have.
- This is the distinguishing mark of the disciple because it was the distinguishing mark of Jesus.
1 John 4:7-11
(7) Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
(8) He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
(9) In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
(10) Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
(11) Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
- What a beautiful picture of what true love is.
- What a terrifying picture of what true love is! What do I mean?
- God has raised the bar on what it means to be a husband. I’m supposed to be Christ in this relationship.
- Leading.
- Pursuing.
- Serving.
- Washing the feet.
- Laying down my life.
- How am I going to do that? That’s why we’re talking about being a Spirit-filled husband. It takes God in you to love like that.
- Paul goes on in our text to explain what loving our wife looks like.
Ephesians 5:28-30
(28) So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
(29) For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
(30) For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
- There are two approaches to men with their bodies that are noticeable.
- The one kind of man is all about health, exercise, eating right….He does this for a host of reasons. He wants to be healthy. He wants to have energy. He wants to look good. He’s taking care of his body. He is cherishing his body.
- The other kind of man is all about food, fun, pleasure… He may not be as healthy, but he certainly wants to be comfortable and feel good.
- Either way people tend to want to do good to their body. You want it to work. You want it to thrive. Either philosophy you have you are nourishing and cherishing your body.
- This is the point that Paul is making.
- All of that time, effort, and investment you are making into thinking about yourself is an example of the time, effort, and investment you should be taking into loving your wife.
- We’ll see why even more here in a moment.
Spirit Filled Husbands submit to their wives by embracing these five responsibilities.
- Responsibility #1– Leading their wives. (v.23-24)
- Responsibility #2– Loving their wives. (v.25, 28-30)
Responsibility #3- Sanctifying their wives. (v.26-27)
Ephesians 5:26-27
(26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
(27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
- Not only did Christ die a sacrificial death for the world.
- Those who receive Christ live because He lives.
- Jesus saved us, and He doesn’t end there.
- Jesus sanctifies us.
- Salvation is not the end. Salvation is the beginning.
- The Great Commission involves both salvation and discipleship.
Matthew 28:19-20
(19) Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
(20) Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
- Jesus didn’t save us and then leave us to ourselves.
- He wants us to get cleaned up.
- He wants to sanctify us.
- In this text we are told that He is cleansing us.
- The body language is still being used.
(26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
- How are we cleansed?
- By the Word of God.
- Hearing it.
- Knowing it.
- Loving it.
- Obeying it.
- Why?
(27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
- Who is talking about?
- Christ and the church? Yes!
- Husbands and wives? Also, Yes!
- Husbands, your wife ought to be spiritually clean as a result of your leadership, love, sacrifice and service to her.
- How do you help to cleanse your wife spiritually?
- The Word of God.
- What is your wife’s relationship with the Word of God? Does she read it? Does she obey it? Does she speak it? Does she know it? It is a reflection on you.
- The wife is the thermometer. The husband is the thermostat.
- The wife reflects the temperature of the spiritual leadership set by the husband in the home.
- If the wife is gossiping and creating division in her life, that is a reflection on the leadership of the husband.
- If the family isn’t coming to church, and the kids are not living for the Lord, at some level that is a reflection on the dad.
- And guess what husbands? You cannot and usually do not ask your wives to do something that you are not doing yourself.
- Jesus said to his disciples, “Follow me and I will make you to become fishers of men.”
- Paul said, “Follow me as I follow Christ.”
- Husbands must say, “Let’s be in God’s Word individually. Let’s be in God’s Word together. Let’s obey God’s Word in every area of our life. Let’s teach it to our kids as we walk in the way, sit down, and rise up. Let us put the Word of God on the posts of our doors and the walls of our house. Let’s know it, love it and do it.”
Spirit Filled Husbands submit to their wives by embracing these five responsibilities.
- Responsibility #1– Leading their wives. (v.23-24)
- Responsibility #2– Loving their wives. (v.25, 28-30)
- Responsibility #3- Sanctifying their wives. (v.26-27)
Responsibility #4- Clinging to their wives. (v.31)
Ephesians 5:31
(31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
- Here the body language continues.
- We’ve already talked about nourishing the body, cherishing the body, and cleansing the body.
- Here Paul alludes to the fact that the husband and the wife together are supposed to be one body.
- Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 here.
Genesis 2:24
(24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
- The physical intimacy between a husband and wife reflect a one body reality.
- The relational intimacy between a husband and wife reflects that the primary human relationship transfers from parents to spouse when you get married.
- It’s because marriage is made up of a man and woman who become one flesh that a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife.
- They are one flesh.
- “One body” means one will, one direction, one set of values, one future, and one life together.
- There should be no one you are closer to humanly speaking than your spouse.
- Why? Because this last responsibility sums up all the others.
Spirit Filled Husbands submit to their wives by embracing these five responsibilities.
- Responsibility #1– Leading their wives. (v.23-24)
- Responsibility #2– Loving their wives. (v.25, 28-30)
- Responsibility #3- Sanctifying their wives. (v.26-27)
- Responsibility #4- Clinging to their wives. (v.31)
Responsibility #5- Showing Christ and the Assembly (V.32-33)
Ephesians 5:32-33
(32) This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
(33) Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
- Why does a Spirit-filled husband lead his wife? Because Christ leads the church. Marriage pictures Christ and the church.
- Why does a Spirit-filled husband love his wife? Because Christ loves the church. Marriage pictures Christ and the church.
- Why does a Spirit-filled husband sanctify his wife? Because Christ sanctifies the church. Marriage pictures Christ and the church.
- Why does a Spirit-filled husband cling to his wife? Because Christ is the head of the the church. He is the Savior of the body. Marriage pictures Christ and the church.