When Love is Missing, Nothing Else Matters: Understanding True Agape Love

Have you ever thought about how many songs contain the word "love" in the title? "She Loves You," "All You Need Is Love," "I Can't Help Falling in Love with You"... the list goes on. But what does love really mean? In our English language, we use one word—"love"—to describe everything from our feelings about food to our deepest relationships. But in the Bible, particularly in 1 Corinthians 13, we encounter something much more profound.

The Love That Changes Everything

In the Greek language, there are multiple words for love. When Paul writes about love in 1 Corinthians 13, he's not using "eros" (romantic love) or "phileo" (brotherly love) or "storge" (familial love). He's using "agape"—a word that describes God's selfless, sacrificial love. "This love that we're talking about is the discipline of the follower of Christ. It's a choice to love even when the person doesn't deserve it," I explained to my congregation. "John Stott said this about agape love: 'This love is a servant of the will, not a victim of the emotion.'" This is why Jesus could command us to "love your enemies." Such love doesn't come from the loveliness of the person who hates us. It comes from submitting to the Holy Spirit who produces this fruit in our lives.

Without Love, We Have Nothing

The Corinthian church was preoccupied with spiritual gifts, especially the more visible ones like speaking in tongues. Some believers developed a superiority complex, thinking their gifts made them better than others. Paul addresses this by showing that without love, even the most impressive spiritual gifts amount to nothing.

Eloquence Without Love is Noise

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not charity, I am become as a sounding brass or a tinkling symbol" (1 Corinthians 13:1). When someone speaks eloquently but without authentic love, it's just noise—like a clanging cymbal that distracts rather than adds value. As I told my congregation, "Truth without love is specifically delivered without God-honoring love can do irreparable damage."

Knowledge, Faith, and Sacrifice Without Love are Worthless

Paul continues with shocking statements: understanding all mysteries, having mountain-moving faith, giving away all possessions, and even sacrificing one's life—if done without love, "it profiteth me nothing" (1 Corinthians 13:3). "There are people who gave their lives so that they could be noticed," I explained. "That makes me think. If it isn't making you think about your own capacity for sinfulness, then you don't get what Paul's trying to say."

Three Essential Truths About Love

1. Without love, my gifts are a noisy nuisance Sometimes we find security in our gifts, thinking they make us valuable. But without love, they're just irritating noise.
2. Without love, I am nothing Our knowledge and abilities don't define our worth. Without love, we are zeros.
3. Without love, I gain nothing Even extreme self-sacrifice, if motivated by pride rather than love, profits us nothing.

How Do We Love Like This?

For believers, this agape love isn't something we can consistently produce on our own. Romans 5 tells us "the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." The source of this supernatural love is God Himself. "If you find yourself devoid of love towards somebody," I advised, "you need the Spirit to work. You need to repent of that sin, and you need to find a way to love."

The Ultimate Example of Love

For those who don't know Christ, I want to be clear: you can't love enough to earn God's acceptance. But here's the good news—you don't have to. "God commended His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). Jesus demonstrated perfect agape love by dying for His enemies. "We were His enemies. We deserved His wrath and He gave us His Son. And His Son gave what was most precious to him, his very blood."

Putting It Into Practice

1. Ask the right question: Not "What do I want to do?" but "What is the loving thing to do?"
2. Remember you don't love because they deserve it: You love because you've been loved by Someone who didn't have to love you.
3. Submit to the Holy Spirit: Allow God's Word to dwell richly in you, and the fruit of the Spirit—love—will naturally follow.

The love of God is our only hope. He has already shown that He loves you by sending His Son. When you respond to that love, He sends His Holy Spirit to help you love others—even those difficult to love. "We love Him because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19).