Breaking Free from the Mirror of Rejection: Discovering Who You Really Are in Christ

Have you ever looked in the mirror and honestly asked yourself, "Who am I?" That can be a scary thing to do sometimes because "the reality of it is a lot of us have a poor self image. The way we see ourselves spiritually is often highly influenced by where we've come from, what we're into, things we've gone through." When I brought out a small mirror during our recent service, I asked everyone what they see when they look in one. The obvious answer is yourself – but you only see the external, the surface. "You don't see what's inside." But here's the deeper question that haunts many of us: Do you see yourself as God sees you? Or do you see yourself as stupid, not good enough, or unqualified?

The Funhouse Mirror of Self-Perception

"When we look in the mirror, we're looking. It's like we're looking through one of those funhouse mirrors, right? It's like the image that we see is distorted. Our perception is distorted." Some of us look in those distorted mirrors and seem bigger than we really are, walking around arrogant. Others look and feel smaller than they are, thinking "man, I'm worthless. I'm unlovable." This distorted self-perception becomes the breeding ground for one of the most destructive lies we face: the fear of rejection. "The lie of rejection is that your happiness depends on the approval of others. And this makes the fear of rejection the driving force of our lives."

Finding Your True Identity in Christ

That's why we're diving into the book of Ephesians in our series "Discovering Your True Self." The apostle Paul – who knew something about rejection himself, writing from prison, rejected by those he once served – wants you to understand something crucial: "if you're a believer, your true identity is not found in these warped images, these warped perceptions of who you are. Your true identity is found in Christ." In Ephesians 1:3-14, Paul uses the phrase "in Christ" ten times in just thirteen verses. He's determined that we grasp this reality. But Paul wasn't always an apostle of Jesus Christ. "He used to be an apostle of the Jews who killed Jesus Christ. And his name was Saul. And he actually played a huge role in the persecution and the execution of early Christians." The Ephesians Paul was writing to "used to be worshipers of a goddess named Diana, right? They used to be idol worshipers." Yet Paul calls them "saints" – a word meaning "to be sacred or pure, morally blameless." How is this possible? "It's because they are the faithful in Christ Jesus."

How God Really Sees You

Here's the life-changing truth from Ephesians 1:3: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in the heavenly places in Christ." "How does God see us? God sees us. If you're a believer tonight, God sees you as blessed in Christ Jesus." The word blessed "means to enrich or to bestow favor. So here's what it means practically. The moment you put your faith in Jesus Christ, God put you in Christ and he gave you access to his heavenly favor."

You Are Wanted by God

The first way you're blessed in Christ is found in Ephesians 1:4: "According as he had chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love." "Here's the point of this point. God knows you and he still chose you." When some people hear "chosen," they think God went through creation like a game of duck, duck, goose – "duck, duck, duck, duck, heaven." But that's not how God chooses. Second Peter 3:9 tells us "the Lord is not willing that any should perish, but that all come to repentance." "We are chosen in him before the foundation of the world. The words, the word in him means in Christ." In Matthew 12:18, God says "behold my servant, whom I have chosen" – speaking of Jesus. First Peter 1:20 tells us Jesus was "chosen before the foundation of the world to be the lamb without blemish" and Revelation shows us this was "to be slain as an atonement for the sins of the world." "So often we look at ourselves and we see a fixer upper." Like those HGTV shows where you see the "before" house and think, "I wouldn't buy that house." We look at ourselves thinking, "I'm broken down. I need work. I'm not worth much." But "Isaiah 46:10 says that God knows the end from the beginning. He knows every single thing about you. He knows every crack, every failure, every compromise. And he still said, you're worth the cross."

You Are Loved as God's Child

Ephesians 1:5 reveals the second blessing: "Having predestined us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will." "You're loved as a child of God. My kids have absolutely nothing to prove to me right there. I already love them. There's no stipulation, there's no fear of rejection." It's not conditional love based on performance. "The moment that they came into existence, they were my child, and I love them as my child, and I will always love them. And that's how God feels about the believer." For the Ephesians, adoption usually happened when people were adults, around 20-30 years old. A wealthy person without children would adopt someone based on "their potential to invest and to increase the family fortune. Right? The adoptee had to be worthy of the person adopting them." "But our adoption isn't based on society values at all. It's based on the love that God had for us before creation." Romans 8:15-16 confirms this: "For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but ye have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God."

You Are Accepted in the Beloved

The third blessing comes from Ephesians 1:6: "To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved." "The word accepted there means endowed with honor, given grace, highly favored, right? Blessed believers are blessed in the beloved." The beloved refers to Jesus – "the loved one, the one who's uniquely loved by the Father." "You're welcomed and received and favored by God. Not because of your background, not because of your qualifications, but because you are in the One who God loves the most."

Overcoming the Lie of Rejection

Let me be transparent. "There are times that I've asked the question, will my ministry be accepted by the church? I didn't grow up Baptist, right? My family is barely what you would call Christian... I don't have the same qualifications as, like, some of the people I work with, right?" "How many of you guys feel that way because of where you came from, because of what you've been through, what your life is like? I'm sure everyone in this room has felt the fear of being rejected because of not being good enough." But here's the truth: "When it comes to our relationship with God, we're really not good enough. That's the truth. But Paul says... my standing before God is not based on my own pedigree. It's based on the pedigree of Christ. That's grace."

Putting It Into Practice

Know Who You Are

Romans 12:3 tells us to "think soberly, right? Clearly about ourselves according to the measure of faith that God has given us. That means we shouldn't think higher or lower. We should think accurately about who we are in accordance with the grace that God has given us in our lives." If you're dealing with sin, remember First John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. So while sin as a believer, disrupts the fellowship with God... sin does not change the relationship at all. You are a child of God, and nothing can change that."

Live Out Your Identity

"God didn't save you. God did not just save you from something, he saved you for something." Ephesians 2:10 says "we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

Expect Rejection from the World

Jesus warned in John 15: "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you... because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you." "As we live out our calling, we should expect rejection, right?... And that's not a reflection of us. That's a reflection of those who have rejected Christ."

Your True Reflection

"Think back to where we started tonight, right? We were talking about looking in a mirror of shame, of fear, of insignificance, right? Those funhouse mirrors. But here's what this passage has been saying to us. Those mirrors are wrong. You are not what they say you are." If you're a believer, you are wanted – "God knows you and he still chose you." You're loved – "He didn't choose you to be his plumber. He adopted you to be his son, right? You're loved or daughter." You're accepted – "God looks at you. Literally, he looks at me in a way that I probably will never look at myself." The next time you look in that mirror, remember: you're not seeing your true self in your reflection of shame or inadequacy. Your true self is found in Christ – blessed, chosen, adopted, and fully accepted by the God of the universe. "The lie of rejection has no ground to stand on because of that grace." When you understand who you are in Christ, "you no longer have to live for the approval of others. You already have the approval of God."